Atomictumor

It has been 6 days since we came home from the hospital, and I’m just now catching up on my ‘tumor reading. Between Leo, a gaggle of older kids and having to compete for computer time with Bos and my Mom, I just haven’t had much time to devote to reading the ‘tumor right now. I miss it, and am thankful for a few moments today to reacquaint myself. Thanks to Bos, AT and all you great folks out there for the posts, comments, love and support. What a nice feeling it is!

—

I have been tremendously impressed with how the older Cemestos kids have adjusted to having a new baby. October, who had dreaded having another little brother, took to Leo immediately and has been very sweet and helpful. Spotz hasn’t reacted much in general, but is content to hold Leo every once and a while and go about his normal business the rest of the time. Lugnut didn’t quite know what to think of Leo when he was first born, saying “Oh, a cute baby,” but not wanting to come anywhere close to him. He has since changed his tune and prefers to be near him whenever possible.

There have been some brief glimpses of the older kids feeling a bit off. Despite their overall positive reactions, I know that this is a big adjustment for them. For all of us.

—

Emotionally, I am always at my healthiest while pregnant (is that why I kept getting pregnant?). A couple months before becoming pregnant with Leo, I had started seeing a shrink for anxiety issues; I stopped going once I learned I was pregnant - primarily for financial reasons but also because it was an easy out. I liked the lady, but we just weren’t compatible.

Throughout the pregnancy, my anxiety symptoms lessened quite a bit. Now that I’m unpregnant again, I can feel them coming back. It is primarily coming through in my annoying tendency toward hypochondria, which has been exasperated by real-life occurences (BJ’s death, Leo’s scare with Group B strep). Poor Bos - it seems like it’s every five minutes that I’m asking him if this or that symptom seems alarming to him. He’s patient with me, and I really appreciate that.

Being pregnant also gave me a hormonal shot of numbness in dealing with BJ’s death. I’ve had that happen before; my older brother and only sibling died when I was 8 months pregnant with October, and I really didn’t grieve much until well after she was born.

So, being unpregnant starts the grief process with BJ all over again (and I’m sure that massive hormonal fluctuations and baby blues play into this, as well). I don’t talk about it much, and when AT calls to see how we’re doing (because he’s awesome that way), I always have a noncommittal answer. It’s hard for me to show vulnerability, because I’m silly and stubborn that way.

—

There’s sadness, and anxiety. But there’s also such an overwhelming joy flowing through me right now. Leo completes our family, which brings this peaceful sensation that I hadn’t expected or experienced before. Perhaps that’s the Beauty coming through.

While the Missus took a shower, I took a video. (Heh…)

Since I can’t figure out how to get the nice youtube video screen in this post, a link will have to do.

Enjoy…

[updated link]

We’re home and it feels good to be here! Lugnut will be getting back from Granny & PopPop’s later and then it’s how many clowns can you fit in a Oak Ridge cemestos special (floor plan B).

Today was a good day. Thanks to everybody who stopped by. It was really good to see you, talk for a spell with us and Leo James. (By the way Beav isn’t going to work. The Missus and I dub him Leroy).

Leroy is his own person. That’s so obvious from the beginning. It only makes sense, but none the less astonishing to me. He’s… quiet. He doesn’t like the dark. He was asleep while we ate dinner a little while ago. We decided to catch a quick nap and when we turned the lights he started fussing. We turned the lights back on and he stops fussing. Go figure.

I haven’t mentioned this, but the Missus is beautiful holding our baby. All our children are blessings I don’t fully comprehend, but I don’t need to comprehend that. I’m just thankful.

***

I got home from work Friday evening and the Missus told me she was in labor.

“These contractions,” she said, “they’re coming every eight or so minutes.”

And they were. Then they got closer and closer.

What you have to bear in mind is we’ve never been down this road before. The others were all induced. We were hoping newbaby would come naturally, but the Missus had been sleeping so poorly and feeling just rotten. We were willing to induce this coming Tuesday, if it came to that.

But here was labor coming eight minutes, eight minutes, six and then eight again. When we got to the E.R. the contractions were coming about four minutes apart.

When the Missus was initially examined at the hospital at 9:00PM she was dilated to three cm. She was at 4cm by 10:30PM, when we were admitted to the hospital. The Missus thought for sometime she’d like to have this one naturally, but the pain was pretty intense by this point. So she ok’d the epidural and got some anti-nausea med. for the meantime.

The nurse examined her again and I forget what she’d dilated to by that point, but labor was progressing quickly. She hadn’t gone into transition yet, so they gave her stadol for the pain which slurred her voice something fierce. The nurses examined her shortly after the epidural cart was rolled in and that’s when they found out she was at nine cm. This was around 12:30AM.
It was time. The eipidural was out of the question. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Leo’s neck. His pulse was not stable. It dropped to 50 at one point. Things had to move even quicker.
Push… 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10… deep breath. Push… 1, 2, 3, ….

There he was. His head crowned. I saw his ear. His little ear. Then he was born. He cried out loud, he cried again.

He was born.

We had ribeye for dinner tonight courtesy of the hospital. It’s their special dinner for new parents. Ribeye, asparagus, rice pilaf… etc.

The Missus has gotten little catnaps today. She’s doing well. Beav (I don’t know about that, guys. I feel like it ought to get a beavis & butthead huh, huh after everytime I say it.) is finding his appetite.

Lugnut went up to his Granny & PopPop’s place today. He was excited about that. They feed him good stuff, too.

Thanks for all your warm wishes, guys. Now it’s back to the hospital.